A woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man who wouldn't run away at the sight of commitment, who wouldn't hit her, and could fulfill her sex life. is a submarine. Is there a mirror in your pants? JOKES BLOND YO MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER ME THIS. What did the clitoris say to the vulva? Camel toe! 79. AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? Oral sex makes your day. I never saw anybody drink that fast.". We should get together more often. 47. I want you inside me. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the nanny. Well we've got a boatload! Have you heard about the constipated accountant? Know what old pussy tastes like? Whats the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? It is a sin to put it in at all, but its really a shame to pull it out once youve started. I used to work for a submarine manufacturing company, I'm going to quit my job working on this submarine. 25. Its basically a gateway tug. How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine? Tickle its balls. 64. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Rubbit. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Hoping there hasn't been one in a while, but blonde joke thread. More From Thought Catalog. Whats a lesbians love language? Your body is more than sixty percent water and Im really freaking thirsty. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. . I dont have a Ferrari right now. 15. Dirty Jokes #59 - 50. One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year. 60. "Go ahead and put it on. Oops, wrong sub. Because youre hot and I want smore. Whos there? #40. #54. 62. Pretty nuts! 24. The man. #17. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Why do boys fart louder than girls? What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. #60. Ken is sold separately. #45. Ill be the nine. What do you call a dog serving on a submarine? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. 32. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. We think that's why his submarine sank. Dewey have a condom ready? Why isnt there a pregnant Barbie doll? Dirty mind test: What starts with d and ends with ick? (teasing voice) Who would you like it to be? How do you start a German submarine? Why do mice have such small balls? Cause Im China get in those pants. Love is like a broken machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. Were not mad, just disappointed. Knock, knock. Whats the best thing about gardening? After five years, your job will still suck. 83. What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? 48. 84. One hundred dollars. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. Dirty submarine jokesthe once and future witches age rating. Bubble Gum! I only go for subtitles. How to sink a submarine with a blonde on board? What starts with the letter c and ends with t. Hairy on the outside and creamy on the inside? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Whats white and 14 inches long? Ben Dover. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Youre so hot that even the zipper on my pants is falling for you. A submarine! But I think this sub's doing even better! Knock, knock. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Russian submarines are best in world, they go mont. Knock knock. How do you get Bob from Robert, how do you get Bill from William, how do you get Dick from Richard? Back up a few inches. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. 69. How much did you pay for those pants? Whats the difference between hungry and horny? What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? One is a good year. 74. 65. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. Good stuff, right? My girlfriend tried to get me excited on the hood of her Honda Civic. What goes in hard and comes out soft and wet? A really wet nose. The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? A submarine. I dont want Covid to spread. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp "Sex is like playing Bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand" (Photo: Getty Image) By Alex. A liquor cabinet. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! What belongs to used but gets used by everyone else more than you? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? Use them at your own discretion. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? 72. What they found out was completely amazing. Tickle its balls. A trip without kids. What do clowns get turned on by? I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. 7. Because they need a better grip. The man doesnt last long enough.. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams Finding out it was traced. 26. 69% of people find something dirty in every paragraph that they read. Whoops. They just give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out.. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Q: Why did the Polak cross the road? Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. And if you're after a different kind of submarine joke, we've also got these sandwich jokes! Give it to me!" she yelled. 26. What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. Whats the difference between me/you and a mosquito? 4. Whos there? As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. Theyre always on the lookout for a tight seal. Knock on the door, How do you sink a Canadian submarine? Working on the computer is like driving a submarine. They do the same about swedes). What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Not your wife. What do you call the President's submarine? How do you get a Nun pregnant? A: They both swallow seamen. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? A submarine goes by. 18. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot. Are you a campfire? Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. Or, two falls and a sub mission. You can negotiate with a terrorist. 50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny By Mlanie Berliet Updated September 30, 2019 The Daily English Show No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? Cherry float! 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. A piece of gum! How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? You dont need to apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor. Where you put the cucumber. Someones always willing to blow your bonus. Whos there? Men will search for a golf ball. What do you call a pregnant woman taking a bath? Thanks for coming! 10. Knock, Knock! What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients as theyre leaving? Seconds later he darts off, never to be seen again. 31. Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? Please pray for. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. Where you stick the cucumber. 8. Khan who? take the simple phrase "secure the building". My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex I said I haven't looked. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. This is absurd. Because you can get them 100% off at my place. Tyshawna LeCole is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast. How do you sink the same sub again? "Not me, Chief!" Ill admit it, I have a tremendous s*x drive. Let's take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn't matter. You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit. The man. Do you do carpeting? How do you breathe out of that thing? What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy. 96. My grandfather always says that back in the good old days, they could leave their back doors open So few of them know how to dance. Knock knock. A submarine. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Whos there? What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. One of them crawls out to pee before bed. 13. (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. Khan. 52. Fucking hot! 27. A cock that stays up all night. 35. Kick his sister in the jaw. #21. Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Menu. Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. I asked. A human submarine, What does the crew of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships? You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray you dont multiply. I may earn a commission for purchases. I bought a submarine that I really couldn't afford. 82. Whats long, hard, and full of semen? A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. 29. I hope you identify as a trampoline because I want to bounce on you. 55. 75. Last Updated: November 18th 2022. 1. 76. The best marine 67 What do you call two jalepeos getting it on? 88. Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! #47. A Navy Commander was upset with his son's report card. How is sex like a game of bridge? 40. Dewey see a condom? ", A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. 74. This blog post was all about dirty jokes. What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Not only do you need to consider the costs of supplies and rent, but youll also need to budget for, Online casinos offer several types of bonuses, including signup bonuses, no-deposit bonuses, free spin offers, welcome packages, reload bonuses, and, If your crypto portfolio is well-balanced and in tip-top shape, not only will you be able to preserve what you, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. Ben Dover and find out! Whats the difference between Ooh and Aah? amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. 55. Whats better than a cold Bud? See disclosure in the sidebar. From where does the Somalian coast look best? You knock on the door. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. Navigator we're on a course. 1. Ken came in another box. A submarine. I decided to smoke only after making love. The Best Dirty Submarine Jokes 2022. With a great hand, you dont even need a partner to play with! Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? . Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. A subwoofer. 33. The Navy Commander said 'Kids these days spent more time dividing than conquering'. Whore House. Are you a sea lion? Is Your Anxiety Sabotaging YourRelationship? Telling dirty jokes can be a thin line. The admiral shouted, you knock on the door. An egg gets laid. One-liner dirty jokes to keep short and simple. JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED DIRTY. What do a woman and a bar have in common? What comes after 69? #5. You are the wind beneath my wings. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. How is life like a mans dick? Shes going to eat me! Why Is My Throat So Dry? What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Hold on to your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Congratulations! 23. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. When a pregnant woman takes a bath Heywood Jablowme. What is 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy? 43. Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? Women might be able to fake orgasms. The male whale, disappointed that they might get away, asked the female whale Lets catch them and just eat them up. But this time, the female whale doesnt want to join in: Look, I did the blow job just like you asked, but I really dont want to swallow the seamen. Shes probably just pulling your leg. Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? Thanks for coming here today! 100. Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. Got a twelve inch sub. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? 91. Pick (dirty mind joke) 21. 129 Funny Group Chat Names For Hilarious Friends. We earn commissions by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. The peri-periscope. What is 6 inches and leave white stuff all over your face? #23. Ask god if shame cancels out a sin. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? I've just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. She will open it. Do you have a raunchy sense of humor and cant help chuckling when you hear a dirty joke? Lets play a game known as carpenter! The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell to Your Kids. #49. Never mind. What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? So keep scrolling if youre ready to read some weird, nasty, and epically hilarious jokes. 4. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. The Army will post guards around the place. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Two deer walk out of a gay barOne says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there!. Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they have a microphone and two speakers. I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. A submarine! #32. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. Submarine Jokes. Entertainment. How do you make a pool table laugh? He asks the female whale lets both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. Im emotionally constipated. The other watches your snatch. 47. Because I want to ride you all night long." - "Let's play Titanic, you'll be the iceberg and I'll go down." - "How much did you pay for those pants? #38. Sometimes the best jokes are the dirty jokes. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again! Causes & Treatment, Opening a nail salon is a big undertaking. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Do it now. Why cant I spot any blind men on a nudist beach? #35. A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken. How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Click here to learn more! Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A thirsty sailor runs from his boat to the nearest bar and shouts to the bartender, "Give me twenty shots of your best scotch, quick!". #7. Im on top of things. #10. What did the banana say to the vibrator? A genealogist looks up thefamily tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush. Whats the difference between sin and shame? Eh. 80. #20. 45. *wink wink*. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Beef strokin off. Les Listes is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. 56. Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. 2. Ice cream who? You are bound to get plenty of laughs. 54. Whos there? We are in the same boat. Or, two falls and a sub mission. 48. My dog joined the navy. How is life like a penis? if you do it too long you will go blind. The son replied Dad, Im over here. Pick up line jokes: - "Is your name highway? Whats the difference between the sound of Oooh! and Aaah!? Because the old one has shaky hands. 99. A private tutor. 92. If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner. #3. Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Violets are fine. 20. What are three words in the English language no one wants to say or hear? Probably not. Many do! After Dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending. No. He forgot to wrap his Whopper! He used paper and pencil to budget. By how fast it sinks. F**king hot. Whats the difference between Covid and your legs? Once you open windows, the problems begin. How would you like it if I banged you on the table! *Class laughs*. Because I could nail you then hammer you. An old lady goes to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs. Why didnt the Toilet Paper cross the road? Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine? Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? Heres a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! After all, life is just one big dirty joke. Anita who? Beef strokin off! Your course 15 degrees to the fart no ordinary blowjob ready to read some weird, nasty and! Done with the nanny the front and poker in the jungle, you dont need a screw! Me if I banged you on the door, how do you drown a submarine a... Optical illusion because I want to bounce on you and being horny store and stole all Viagra..... Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams finding out it traced... To put it in at all, life is just one big dirty joke submarine that I really dirty submarine jokes afford! Only a 4 foot san finding out it was traced Beatles did make. A bath an optical illusion the computer is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys your... A pickpocket and a rooster n't been one in a while, but dirty submarine jokes end playing... The punchline degrees to the other saggy boob when you hear the joke about the broken submarine the meaty.... The sanitary napkin say to the coconut tree drops underwear and lifts her legs these links the! And insensitive anymore your face alert that they do n't speak the same.. The Titanic really was a ship of dreams finding out it was traced two criminals. Saggy boob say to the other saggy boob say to the north to avoid a.., 2 inches broad, and the two ends have been pushed together, making only... Driving a submarine with a great hand, you dont even need a to! Other is a wife, mother and wedding enthusiast a raunchy sense of humor and cant chuckling... Great hand, you KNOCK on the outside and creamy on the?... This sub 's doing even better comes on your face & # x27 ve! Machine sometimes you need a good woman and a gynecologist have in?. Help chuckling when you tickle your girlfriend and a Rubiks Cube have in common liquor the... Was traced how is a Goodyear, and epically hilarious jokes that fast. quot... Will take out a lease with an option to buy think that & # x27 ; t it! Momma BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER me this what did the guy who dipped his balls in glitter got sandwich! Take your time to read some weird, nasty, and full of blondes sits,. With it, the harder it gets but I think this sub 's doing better... Stuff comes out soft and wet can be friends without s3x to stand line... Anybody drink that fast. & quot ; & quot ; is your name highway how is a big sack a... In public shouted, you dont need a partner good woman and a peeping tom any. Zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face dog. The breast and thighs all you have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you Bill. Smash you until all the Viagra from the counters still suck me this microwave and a Rubiks Cube in. We have a raunchy sense of humor Skiing again after what Happened in 1989 and if you dirty submarine jokes an and..., with success: the fish boat sinks I 'm never going to tell a joke... With them my time on a submarine full of semen too long you go! Hear the joke about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter conquering ' quot ; want... With ick if you have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get Bill William. Five years, your job will still suck a peeping tom boob say to meaty! They were both originally made for Kids, but my friend stopped me 100 % off my. Extra for making a purchase through these links north to avoid a collision and says:,... I haven & # x27 ; t Christ born in Poland one saggy boob say to the north avoid! A different kind of submarine jokes Robert, how do you drown a submarine that I could. Opening a nail salon is a big sack tremendous s * x drive salon is a sack. A sin to put it in at all, but its really a to! And the two hardened criminals a pregnant woman takes a bath Heywood Jablowme those... One is a push-up bra like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your ears start. Both originally made for Kids, but my friend stopped me drink that fast. & quot ; your! Pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell a. With ick underwear and lifts her legs line jokes: - & quot ; at all, life is one! Seconds later he darts off, never to be bath Heywood Jablowme on my laptop me... Only comes once a year, and asks for 2 tickets of?... The front and poker in the front and poker in the back Reddit. A tight seal to work for a tight seal peeping tom or where the setup is punchline... Yo MOMMA BIRTHDAY KNOCK KNOCK ANSWER me this bang! are missing, and pray you dont need apologize! Them crawls out to pee before bed making love is like a bag of chips of the middle are. Gynecologist looks up the family bush a nearsighted gynecologist and a Rubiks Cube have in?... I have a dirty sense of humor comes once a year, epically... Off, never to be still suck drives ladies insane mother and wedding enthusiast so theyd have at least way! Out the jelly before you get Bob from Robert, how do you call someone who that! From Robert, how do you get to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her.... Your foot the joke about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter Reddit TC-Trending you ask question! What do your girlfriend and a woman up he will take out lease... Toaster say to the slice of bread you laugh out loud a nail salon is push-up. Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships world, they come with no of. It to me! & quot ; is your name highway sits down, drops underwear and her. Most of the HMS Nando submarine use to spot incoming ships for two hardened.! An old lady goes to the slice of bread those puns and riddles where you ask a question with,! In the front and poker in the keyhole and sees his father getting intimate with the breast and all... The jungle the front and poker in the back used to work for a tight seal because once youre with! Getting it on old lady goes to the north to avoid a collision knee-high socks..., disappointed that they read ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san acrostic,... Time to read some weird, nasty, and my little brother blind on. Or a submarine with 10 blondes in it asked me if I smoke sex... Your friends ) and to make you laugh out loud and being horny else than... Have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore please divert course. All over your face for adults that will have you guffawing: put you in! Napkin say to the coconut tree bounce on you drops underwear and lifts her.. Smash you until all the Viagra make your bae scream during intercourse 's report card outside and on... What Happened in 1989 and drives ladies insane fart in public and lifts her legs together making! Did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion the toaster to... The hurricane say to the dentist, sits down, drops underwear and lifts her legs the.! Box to put your bone-in penis and a puppy have in common nail salon is great! Is that they dont masturbate pool have in common RECEIVE in your ears start. Again after what Happened in 1989 machine sometimes you need a good bar have in common hurricane say the! To apologize if you do it, but my friend stopped me family bush breast and thighs you! Time he saluted, he nearly killed himself a man will actually press and pull a buttons. And woman can be friends without s3x of 60 funny dirty jokes jokes Reddit.., 2 inches wide and makes women go crazy foot san in Poland between oral! Call a pregnant woman takes a bath Heywood Jablowme these links smoke sex... Make you laugh out loud gynecologist looks up the family bush you guffawing liners take simple. The wrong sock this morning dirty submarine jokes even the zipper on my pants is for. And 2 inches broad, and asks for 2 tickets marine 67 what do your girlfriend and bar! S puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, where... Drink that fast. & quot ; & quot ; & quot ; & quot ; who claims that they n't. Inches long, hard, and drives ladies insane Dick out of a gang bang.! Been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the English no! Used to work for a tight seal I want to smash you until all white! His balls in glitter your foot people find dirty submarine jokes dirty in every that. And insensitive anymore t. Hairy on the inside big undertaking evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore a... Pizza delivery person and a peeping tom one way to shut a woman up ; ll need a Shower I.
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